You’ve had dreams about your employees’ wives yelling at you

You might be an entrepreneur if…you’ve had dreams about your employees’ wives yelling at you.

Ah, I’ve been looking forward to this one. This is based on a true experience, that is, a real dream I had.

When I’ve been in danger of being late on payroll I start getting more and more stressed as payday approaches. I tend to break out and feel a need to eat larger quantities of ice cream than usual (ice cream is my primary vice, kind of like hard liquor for others). Of course part of the stress is because I hate having to tell my employees that payday is going to be on a “new, special day” this time, but truth be told I’m more scared of the wives (I say “wives” rather than spouses because no women work here, a problem I’d like to rectify because we’ve got two employees that need to get married off and if it doesn’t happen by way of an office romance I’m not sure it will happen at all…just kidding guys…well, sort of).

One night as payday was approaching I had a dream in which I believe I was talking to a particular employee and his wife happened to be there as well. I don’t remember many details other than that all of a sudden she started yelling and screaming at me, full of vitriol, anger, and rage, like a she-devil from Hades. She was yelling at me about how I was a horrible business man and didn’t know how to run a business and such.

In my dreams not only what I see is affected but the dream also takes control of my emotions and can make things seem scarier and more dramatic than they would be if the same thing happened in real life. For example, I’ve also been having dreams lately about going bald. In my dreams I go into the bathroom and I’ve only got patches of hair remaining on my head in random places, and as I run my hand through my hair more patches fall out. If this were happening in real life I’d probably be laughing saying “What the heck is going on?!” I’ve shaved my head enough times in my life not to be too concerned about having no hair. But in my dream I’m scared to death, like it’s the end of the world, and when I wake up the relief comes not so much because it’s all a dream and my hair isn’t really falling out, but because I realize even if it were I wouldn’t care that much.

Like many other things in my dreams, the dream with my employee’s wife seemd like the end of the world–nothing worse could possibly be happening to me at that moment. When I woke up it all seemed hilarious, because I couldn’t really imagine this employee’s wife yelling at me that way, or even expressing any sort of hostility towards me.

I went in that day and told my employee about it, who told his wife, and I guess she took it kind of hard and cried about it because she’s a sensitive soul. Apparently she felt bad that I would think (even subconsciously) that she could ever act like that. I kind of felt bad, but then I thought “Hey, you were the one yelling at me!”

I brought it up with the guy the other day and he said his wife is ok with it today and just thinks it’s funny, as do I.